musings of an intentional journey.

it took me awhile to get this to feel just right & publish it ... It's something I believe in right to my very core ... that every woman ( & man for that matter ) deserves to feel fulfilled , like they matter . this topic of living intentionally & with purpose is deep ... & complicated when you overthink it

 [ guilty ] but so simple when you understand that at its core ... all you need to do is be brutally honest with yourself & who you are ... once you've done that - the rest comes almost naturally...

simply , - intentional living is a series of small choices that make up a big choice - your big choice on how you choose to spend your life - and on who's terms ... and i think some people live their lives in a way where they have all these ideas and feelings they want to pursue but they don't know how to move forward ... what they don't realize is this...

 NOT making a choice ... or being stuck in a state of non-action is an unconscious decision to live an unfulfilled life .

in my life - this way of thinking - making every choice count - has stemmed from not only how i was raised - but also who i am as a person - i think one of the biggest traps people fall into is making their life's decisions based on what they see others doing & going ... i want to have that life, that girl who has it all together and the perfect whatever - always... its the perfect trap to always feel behind & never feel fulfilled - because the truth is - fulfillment only comes when you are living the authentic you. Not the you you think you "should " be.

for me - early on in my life, as early as i can remember, all i wanted to do was be an entrepreneur. i was just constantly excited by possibilities , ideas and what i knew i had in my heart to share with the world.

before i had finlee - i got trapped by this thief of comparison - i had this belief that because i didn't fit into what i thought was "the perfect mom" bubble - that i'd be a horrible mother - now, i've proved that once i let go of what my idea was of that & just rolled with what felt natural & good to me - i felt genuinely happy & amazingly - even MORE fulfilled in what I was doing as an entrepreneur & wife - not the life ending till I'm 40 & the kids have left lifestyle i had earlier thought motherhood would mean for me... [ totally a made up scenario in my head ]

sadly, i think as amazing as social media is in lots of ways - it has made this thief of comparison [ aka joy ] 's job a whollle lot easier.

today we hear the term #momboss & #supermom thrown around social media like badges of honor...Like the other moms who don't "qualify" for that status are somehow less ... I don't like - or strive for those titles ... For the simple reason that I believe that most of the women i see around me - are all the same, just trying to do their best - so let's be easier on each other shall we? let's stop the judging , guilt tripping and underlying tones of competition & instead adopt something i love -

abundance.

the belief that there is enough to go around. enough business, enough love , enough happiness - when we adapt this mentality - we lose that feeling of being threatened & gain a feeling that we are stronger together ... through this thinking ...imagine what is possible!

** P.s. I wont judge you if you use said hashtags ... without the intention of what I am saying - They just don't sit right in my gut to use them**

so - back to my story -when I was growing up, dreaming of all my businesses I would run [ and of course drawing the appropriate floor plans to go with them ] I had a mom & a dad who told me I could do that . & When I dreamt up a totally new one they said I could do that too - & I believed it.

then I eventually decided to go to college for interior design ...And people in Rocanville looked at me weird since Lee and I were married & coming back to the farm & EVERYONE knows no one cares about that in rural Saskatchewan...But I didn't care .. I went to school with the full intention of doing what I do today - being here on the farm with Lee, building our lives together ...And doing what I love every day...Whether anyone cares or not... & i felt - even if i get no work - at least throughout my life I will have something to fall back on that truly gives me joy - and i just kept building on that joy & passion 

id like to say that's all there was to it - but let's be real here - it wasn't. There were still doubts , still days where I was like am I crazy? No one wants that ... [ & lee would gently encourage me to just stop listening to that toxic voice in my head & keep doing what made me happy ] & i did...& the cool thing about resisting toxicity is that it's like any other exercize & training - the more you train yourself to think that way - the easier it becomes... again, not that I NEVER have those days - we are all human after all -

Don't get me wrong - I still have a lonnng way to go & many more goals I want to achieve - but I believe this intentional way of thinking - & living every day is the key ... because I don't care if I have 100 years left to live - or 100 days - I have peace & happiness knowing joy today -

in even the smallest of things - like the sparkle in my baby girls eyes & that little grin that melts my heart...

& also in the big things... but... 

the biggest hope i have for her is for her to grow up & believe in her heart that she can & she will do whatever it is that makes her have this same authentic joy & sense of self -

 & that life is just one little choice at a time

so choose every day to be your best you - that day , & be kind + generous to those you meet along the way ... 

 & if you fail... & You will fail from time to time , never stop learning from those mistakes, get a little stronger & just keep going...

** An obvious disclaimer here is that these ideas are in no way new or original & as any even moderately successful [ define that as you will ] person will tell you, it's not done alone but with a group of support ...Trust me there's enough people in the world that [ news flash ] you don't have to associate with toxic people [ aka Debbie downers or people that just plain leave you feeling drained ] choose your tribe wisely & surround yourself with people who lift you up & in turn lift them up too ... & You will reach great heights ❤ ... i really don't know where i would be without all of the support & love i have felt from friends, family & many mentors who keep me grounded & focused on what is most important ...

i also want to hear from you - whether in the comments below, or on my insta or facebook feed or of course a personal email is always welcome ... this is the essence of this gather community i have created - a safe place for us to just be real & kind & inspired ... so if you think someone else in your "tribe " could use a little thumbs up & encouragment that...they're doing OK - really - then please, be so kind to share this link on your network ...like i said - there is always room for more;)

                                                            XO- J.